Hangover #2 Excerpt
Hangover and Out...on Friday. In the meantime...
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
“Good morning. I have a delivery for Messrs Carter and Flynn,” breezed the far too cheery for-this-time-of-the-morning florist. Talk about stating the bloomin’ obvious. The owner of those dulcet tones was hidden behind the biggest embarrassment of a bouquet Callum had ever seen in his goddamn life. “I have some more in the van for you, if you’ll just sign for these,” she trilled.
More…? Cal hadn’t even begun to get his head around that, when it belatedly dawned on him that the florist was not alone on the doorstep. The assault of flora and fauna had blotted out the sunlight, let alone the press pack jostling for position behind it.
“CALLUM!! Caal! How d’you feel this morning?”
Oh Christ…Pissed off.
“How’s it feel to be back home? Are you enjoying life as a married man?”
Bloody Irritating. I had temporarily forgotten; awoken as I was by your fucking racket and a rainforest on my doorstep. Cal didn’t actually say any of that aloud. He did think it very loudly though.
“Where’s Daniel? Was he okay after you socked him one? How’s he finding married life?”
“In bed. Yeah, he’s fine…” Cal sighed. Stone the soddin’ crows…and all the journalists. At least, there were only about half a dozen today. The poor florist, however, appeared to be wilting beneath suffocation by cellophane and the onslaught of cretinous questions, so Callum attempted a somewhat creaky smile of gratitude and relieved her of the flowers. “There’s more?” he asked incredulously. She nodded, teeth glinting in a scary ‘isn’t it delightful, dear’ smile. No, it really wasn’t. Not before a morning cuppa and a smoke.
“Gents, please make yourselves useful and help the lady with the flowers…while I attempt to muster up a few marbles with which to answer your questions.”Two crows with one stone. Not bad for stupid o’clock, on the whole.
The next few minutes might have been highly entertaining, had Cal been in the mood to watch the Carry-On floristry chain-gang rustle up the Attack of the Triffids on the doorstep. He was not. Oddly ’nuff. He did wish Daniel hadn’t missed out though, because his deadly beloved would have been tickled pink by the parade of press that began to trundle up the path, laden with bouquets and bobbing balloons emblazoned with Just Married.
“Goood Mornin’!”
Oh hell. Cal rolled his eyes upwards. Daniel’s face was grinning out of the studio window, waving merrily (his face wasn’t waving, the hand wafting cigarette smoke Cal’s way was).
“Dan! Toss the packet down, for chrissakes!”
“’Kay!” His tufty head vanished for a few seconds, then reappeared alongside the cigarettes that came sailing out of the window…to land not far from Cal’s feet. Dan was a damn good shot. Callum bent to retrieve the packet, just as the lighter bounced off his head. Of course. This was the day that just kept giving…Cal a bloody headache. “Ooops! Sorry!”
“Daniel! How are you this morning? How’s your lip? How’s married life?” Hollered a hack.
“Bloody brilliant, I’m very well, thank you. ’Twas my own fault, for sticking my face in front of a flying fist. ’Tis never the most circumspect of decisions, oddly ’nuff.” Daniel breezed, a wide grin stretching his scabby lip to splitting point. Worse still, there was a huge fucking love bite decorating his neck. Virulent violet. With flashing fairy lights around it…and a ‘look at me’ signpost.
The bouquet bearer of bad tidings chose this moment to thrust a clipboard Cal’s way, so he grimly signed for the flowers while she thanked the ‘gentlemen’ of the press for their assistance. You really couldn’t make this up. His life was ludicrous. Callum shoved a cigarette in his mouth and lit it before inhaling deeply. Aah…thank fuck for small mercies.
“Cal! So how’s married life? It sure looks all right from where I’m standing.” The journalist glanced pointedly at Daniel, still grinning out of the window, resplendently splotched and scabby. He resembled one of his own self-portraits.
“It is bloody brilliant actually,” Cal found himself confessing as he turned back to his inquisitors.
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
